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Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Useless eBay seller

Brr. It's cold down here, in the tunnel under the old castle. But this is where I'm holed up with my laptop and wireless internet (the signal gets weaker the farther down the tunnel I go). I've just been collecting sticks so I can build a small fire; there's a tiny hole in the roof above which will hopefully act as a chimney.

Anyway, I wanted to comment on a really useless eBay seller I had the misfortune to deal with recently. He put up hundreds of listings at once using some automated software, and as a result none of the descriptions were much good. The one I was interested in, "Third Year at Malory Towers [Hardcover]," had a brief description that read:

Interesting hardback book with cover (Dust Jacekt). Ships same day. Satisfaction guaranteed.

(In retrospect I have to assume he was talking about HIS satisfaction here.)

There was no picture for this item, and the description didn't tell me much, but I latched on to two words: "Dust Jacekt" (which, translated into English, means "Dust Jacket").

You see, in book-speak, specifically pointing out that a book has a dust jacket is suggesting that... well, the book has a dust jacket — one of those paper ones that can be removed and is sometimes missing. Otherwise why bother mentioning it? And I was interested in this book BECAUSE the dust jacket was mentioned, especially as the book was up for auction with a starting bid of 99 cents. Any Enid Blyton book with a dust jacket is most likely going to be an old "vintage" hardback from around 1960 or earlier, which is good enough for me.

Of course, I had no idea about the condition of the book so I asked the seller before placing a bid. He told me:

Please note I failed to say in these quickly made 12,600 ads these are all used books. The office and the warehouse are miles apart to complicate this there are two depots one in the US and one in the UK. I have created a job sheet and will go investigate. Someone will literally have to go to the library and pick it.

Er... well, okay then. The auction was closing soon and I didn't want to miss out, so I just went ahead and placed a maximum bid of $3. I figured I couldn't go wrong, if indeed it's an old hardback with dust jacket. I was the only bidder so won the book for 99 cents, plus $2.99 shipping. Hurrah! (Maybe.)

The book seemed to be taking its time arriving and I wasn't holding my breath, but I wrote to ask about it anyway and was told in a long-winded fashion:

...This operation is no small one man band either. It employs staff in the UK and the US and has a depot in each country. We are used to large volumes of packing as we are bulk mailers. We have brought in casual staff for the US and the UK side so in effect I have had people packing 24 hours a day.

You see, here he made the mistake of assuming that I gave a fetid dingo's kidney about his packing operation. I just wanted to know when the book was shipped. As it happened, it then arrived that very afternoon.

Without expecting too much, I opened up the package. It was not a vintage hardback with a dust jacket (or even a dust jacekt), but a hardback with glazed picture boards printed in the 1990s. Utterly useless. I wouldn't read a new edition like this, and I wouldn't have much luck selling it either considering it was full of scribbles. A total waste of time and $3.99.

I complained of course, explaining my case, and he basically said he would not hesitate to refund my money. But I think this meant he literally would not hesitate to refund my money, as to date he doesn't seem to have taken the time to do so.

Oh well, no sense getting worked up over it. I took a chance and might have got a mint condition first edition from this volume seller... but instead I got a fairly hefty fly swatter.

Ah, the fire's going now. Where's that small tin pot I brought? I think I might boil a potato and have it with a can of chicken soup...

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