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Sunday, January 25, 2009

Ladybug infestation

Of all the creepy-crawlies in the world, ladybugs (or ladybirds in England) are probably the least offensive of the lot. Some might even say they're cute, like Disney characters in a real life world of insects. You never heard of anyone running away, screaming, from a ladybug. If one lands on you by mistake, you don't jump up and shout, "Oh-my-god-a-bug-just-landed-on-me!" And if one lands on your sandwich just as you're about to take a bite, it's just mildly annoying as opposed to gross and disgusting.

It's a good job they're so unoffensive, because my house has been infested with them ever since I moved to the U.S. in 2001. The first year here I was stunned by the sight of literally hundreds of the little things crawling about on the windowsill and the ceiling. Of course, that particular year we were also infested by big wasp things too, so it wasn't very nice. In those days I had my office in the "attic" and that office was cooled and heated by a single air-conditioning/heater unit poking through the wall. Unfortunately bugs could crawl right through it, and they did, so when I went up to the office after a few days away, I found the place swarming with things...

Every year since we've had a problem with ladybugs. We have problems with wasps too, and I go around spraying their grey papery nests off the underside of overhanging roofs and decks. There are two "wasp" things we commonly see; the nasty ones with grey papery nests, and the harmless ones known as dirt or mud daubers. They look about the same, but the nasty ones are more yellow then black, whereas the mud daubers are more black than yellow.

Mud daubers make tunnel-like homes of mud under decks, but they're a bit of a nuisance because they also clog up any small holes such as the ends of extension cords that have been left lying around, or — as I found out recently — the narrow pipes that feed propane gas into the outdoor heating unit. This made the stupid thing only half fire up, because not enough gas was getting through.

But the smaller, faster yellow jackets are a nuisance; I got stung when I went to clear out the basement one time, and dragged a dusty cardboard box toward me off a shelf, and found it had a nest inside. It took a moment to register that all those buzzing things that came flying out were actually harmful, but I was reminded when one got me on the hand. Ooh, it stung. Years later I went up to the mailbox with bare feet and stood on one. I was annoyed at that; what the heck was a yellow jacket crawling around in the grass for? What a cheek! (I just Googled and found that yellow jackets do in fact make their nests in the grass. Well!)

We also get June bugs. Now these are bugs I like, if it's possible to "like" bugs. They're bright "metallic" green and usually about an inch long, maybe more. They're also big and dumb, and sort of buzz around low to the ground. Around May and June, they come and buzz about the front lawn, and there are literally hundreds of them. But they're harmless. If I walk up to the mailbox, I normally get hit by a few on the way. That's what they do — they fly about not looking where they're going and bang into things. You can hear them slapping against the side of the house too, and they fall back and lie on their backs for a bit, too stunned to move.

But back to the ladybugs. The ones we're infested with are the Asian Multi-Colored Ladybugs, and by multi-colored I mean varying shades of orange and red, with any number of black spots. They're harmless and perhaps even beneficial, in that they eat aphids (green fly in England). Apparently they live 1-2 years (who knew?) and each can eat up to 5000 aphids in a lifetime. If you startle them (like telling them how much money the Government is giving to car companies to bail them out of financial ruin) they leak a smelly yellow blood from their legs. Bugs are weird, aren't they? Imagine if people did stuff like that — a burglar breaks in, and instead of calling the police for help, you just leak yellow blood from your legs that really really stinks.

Anyway, I started wondering — why do they keep coming into the house? (Ladybugs I mean, not burglars.) They'll typically emerge on the first really bright and sunny day after some dismal weather. A month ago I came down to my office, looked outside, and found hundreds buzzing about. I say hundreds, but I didn't actually count them. Maybe there were thousands, I don't know, but there were certainly more than a hundred. What's worse is that they get inside and flap about in the office while I'm trying to work. They're like moths in that they buzz about the light fittings and make that annoying "pfft!" sound every time they touch the bulb. After a while I get fed up with it and get the vacuum cleaner out. I can't imagine how many there are inside now. But no matter how many I suck up, within fifteen minutes there are at least ten or fifteen flying around again.

I got to thinking there was a "nest" of them above my ceiling, as they keep coming out of the light fittings. In fact I've seen those big dumb wasp things come out of there too, sometimes two or three at a time. So yesterday I got a couple of cans of Black Flag Indoor Fogger and set them off. You just press the button on top until it clicks, so the spray keeps on coming out, and you set it down and leave the room, sealing it behind you (after first making sure all feline units have been removed).

Well, two and a half hours later I returned to find carnage on the floor. Man, that took some vacuuming! I swear there hadn't been that many before. But this morning the office is quiet, so I think I might have got 'em for now. Not only that, but the fogger kills all kinds of bugs so I guess I got the wasps and crickets and everything else. (This is supposed to be winter time, when bugs are hibernating, but it seems some just like to stay out all year round.)

I know people get bugs on their computers, but how many people actually get bugs on their computers? I do — I have to keep flicking them off. Well, here's hoping they're all gone for the time being.

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