The Christmas of Adventure

©2015 June E.

Philip, Dinah, Jack and Lucy-Ann are excited at the prospect of spending their first Christmas together, but by Christmas Eve all their plans lie in ruins. Things get even worse when a severe snowstorm brings the country to a standstill and leaves Bill snowbound, hundreds of miles away. Forced to fend for themselves in Bill's remote moorland cottage, rumours abound of a strange and terrifying creature lurking in the woods nearby... and with a ruthless thief on the loose, striking at night and stealing birds from the local Sanctuary, the scene is set for a frightening and perilous adventure. Can they stop the thief before it's too late? Or will Kiki be the robber's next victim?

Chapter 3: 'Really, can things get any worse!'

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After the telephone call, the harmony and contentment of the earlier part of the day seemed to vanish. Mother spent the evening trying to contact Aunt Polly on the telephone, and the four disappointed children got out a board game and spread it out on the rug in front of the sitting room fire. They all felt out of sorts, and even Kiki sensed that something was wrong and started to misbehave!

A squabble broke out was before the game even began. Lucy-Ann selected the green counter as her piece for the game, but Dinah had also set her heart on it and tried to snatch it away!

'You only took it because you knew I wanted it!' she snapped crossly.

Lucy-Ann was shocked.

'Oh Dinah, I would never be as mean as that,' she cried. 'Here, take it, I don't mind.'

But Dinah was not in the mood to be pleased about anything!

'I don't want it anymore, you keep it,' she scowled.

'Oh for goodness sake, Dinah, stop being such a baby and let's just play!' pleaded Philip in frustration.

At this, Dinah leapt up and gave him a sharp slap, and then a fine tussle ensued, as Dinah and Philip began wrestling on the floor! Lucy-Ann and Jack could hardly believe their eyes. Luckily Jack had an idea and called out, 'Philip, Dinah, you MUST stop it, you'll squash Woffly!'

At the mention of Woffly, Dinah leapt about a foot in the air and jumped onto a chair.

'Don't you dare bring that mouse near me!' she screamed.

Then, as if there wasn't enough noise already, Kiki joined in, flapping and squawking randomly, 'Who's a naughty boy! Put the kettle on! Wipe your nose!'

The excited bird then swooped down, snatched up the green counter in her beak, and flew up to the top of the bookshelf. Nobody even noticed Mother coming in to the room, until a loud firm voice called out, 'Children! Stop this noise AT ONCE!'

Four tousled heads, and one feathered one, all turned to look at Mother.

'Whilst you have been misbehaving,' she scolded, 'I have been talking to Aunt Polly on the telephone. I'm afraid it's more disappointing news. Aunt Polly and Uncle Jocelyn have got influenza. They are not going to be able to look after you this Christmas.'

'Thank heavens for that!' said Dinah, cheekily.

'Oh Dinah, don't be so naughty!' said Mother sternly. 'I know you are disappointed and so I am going to overlook that remark. But really – I expect more from you.'

Suddenly Dinah was regretful – she hadn't really intended to be nasty, the words had somehow just burst out.

'I'm sorry Mother, I didn't mean what I said. Truly, I didn't mean it.'

Mother took a deep breath and looked at the faces of the children, and then up at Kiki who was still perched on top of the bookcase. Then, to Mother's utter amazement – and to Jack's utter horror – Kiki uttered these words, in a slow, growling American drawl.

'Who d'ya think your lookin' at?'

Mother stood there, opened mouthed – had her ears deceived her? Philip, Dinah and Lucy-Ann were dumbstruck. Had someone taught Kiki to talk in rough American slang?

Before anyone could speak, Jack, looking quite shamefaced, said, 'I'm awfully sorry, Aunt Allie, I really am. Kiki, you are a very naughty girl, speaking to Mother that way.'

Mother gathered her wits.

'Jack, did you teach Kiki to talk in that rude way?' she asked in a firm tone.

'Oh no, at least, not deliberately. It was quite by accident, it really was,' said Jack earnestly.

'I think you'd better explain,' said Mother more gently, seeing that Jack was so discomforted.

Jack took a deep breath before he spoke.

'The thing is,' he said, 'the other day when we were in town doing our Christmas shopping, and we each slipped off to by each other's present – well, I smuggled Kiki into the cinema and we watched an American gangster film – but it was quite by accident.'

This sentence raised more questions than it answered, and everyone burst out at once, four voices all talking on top of one another:

'How can you go into a cinema by accident?'

'How did you smuggle her in?'

'How can you watch a gangster film by accident?'

It just didn't make sense!

Jack looked embarrassed – he had been hoping that no one would find out what he had done!

'Let me explain exactly what happened,' he said.

'Yes, I rather think you'd better,' said Mother. 'You know I don't approve of gangster films, they give a bad example to children.' She looked stern.

'This is what happened,' Jack began. 'I was hurrying to the camping shop to buy Philip a... oh bother that part is meant to be a secret... anyway, I walked past the cinema and I couldn't help but see the title of the afternoon film. The poster said 'He Sang Like a Canary'. Well, I thought it was a documentary about a man who could do all different bird calls, and I have always wanted to learn how to do that.'

At this point Philip started to snigger, putting his hand over his mouth to try to muffle the sound. Jack shot him a furious glance.

'Anyway, I tucked Kiki under my coat, paid my sixpence and went inside. But instead of a show about birds, a gangster movie came on! I waited a while, hoping that it would end and the bird programme would come on, but it didn't. There was a lot of fighting and stuff... and it was quite boring – so after half an hour, Kiki and I gave up and left the cinema. I didn't know she had picked up any of the gangster language, I really didn't – not until just now!'

He glanced up at Kiki, his cheeks pink with embarrassment.

Who d'ya think your lookin' at?' she said boldly once again, in the same deep American drawl.

Philip could help himself no longer. Tears of laughter streamed down his cheeks, and he laughed till his stomach hurt. Even Mother couldn't help but smile, though she was trying her best to look disapproving.

'Oh Jack,' squeaked Philip, for he could hardly talk for laughing. 'Don't you know that 'a canary' is what gangsters call a gang member who double-crosses them and gives information to the police? Giving information to the police is called 'singing'. Oh my, oh my side hurts. That poster wasn't advertising a bird documentary, it was advertising a gangster movie.'

And with that, Philip laughed so much that he fell off his chair, bumping his elbow as he did so, and there he was, rolling about on the floor clutching his stomach with one hand and his elbow with the other. This set Dinah off laughing, and very soon everyone was in stitches, and all quarrels and bad temper were completely forgotten.

At last, when the laughter died down, Mother said, 'I think the best thing to do is ignore Kiki completely if she says anything rude – then she might forget all about it.'

'But what if she's learned even worse phrases from the film?' asked Dinah, with a mischievous twinkle in her eye. 'What a hoot!'

'Oh dear, I hope not, that wouldn't do at all,' said Jack, turning a little pale as he remembered some of the shocking things the gangsters had said.

'That's enough now,' said Mother, hastily changing the subject. 'Let's all have a mug of cocoa and open that tin of chocolate biscuits that Bill sent us for Christmas – I know it's not Christmas day yet, but I think we should all have a treat.'

Very soon all five of them were sitting by the fire, steaming mugs of cocoa in their hands, and a large tin of chocolate biscuits open on the table.

'Wow these are fabulous biscuits!' said Philip. 'There are all different kinds: dark chocolate gingers, digestives, fingers, milk chocolate creams, wafers... how on earth do I choose one?'

'The simple answer is to do what I did', said Jack smartly, 'and choose at least two!'

Everyone looked at Mother, who just smiled – which of course meant that they could all have at least two biscuits from the tin!

With peace, harmony and quiet restored, Mother disappeared to make more telephone calls. The children's thoughts returned to the subject of their disrupted Christmas plans.

'I am sure everything will work out just fine, somehow,' said Philip, attempting to cheer everybody up. He didn't like to see so many anxious faces. 'And don't forget, we still have Bill's visit to look forward to,' he continued. 'He's due to arrive tomorrow afternoon. He's crossing from France by aeroplane, and then motoring here.'

'Gosh how exciting, I wish I could go up in an aeroplane!' exclaimed Jack. But how come Bill is in France?'

'Mother said he's been working with the French police on a very important case – chasing an international criminal gang or something,' answered Philip.

'Oh, I hope I get to travel all over the world when I grow up, like Bill does,' said Jack, longingly.

'Yes, he always seems to be off here and there,' said Dinah. 'But does anybody know where he actually lives – where his home is, I mean? '

'I believe he lives up in Yorkshire, in the middle of the moors,' answered Philip. 'He mentioned it to me one time. He has a house in a little village, and a housekeeper who comes in everyday and cooks and cleans.'

'Put the kettle on!' squawked Kiki.

'Yes, I expect she does that too!' laughed Philip. 'Bill works so hard as a police inspector, he needs someone to look after him a little when he gets home! And after he's popped in to see us tomorrow he's motoring all the way up to Yorkshire – he'll be driving most of the day. He really wants to be home in time for Christmas.'

The children's chatter was interrupted by a sharp rap at the front door.

'Oh, maybe Bill has arrived early!' cried Lucy-Ann, and her green eyes shone.

All four children raced to the front door. But to their disappointment, it wasn't Bill at all. Instead it was a rather despondent-looking telegram boy, his coat pulled up around his numb, perishing ears, shivering and stamping his feet to keep warm. He handed a damp, crumpled envelope to Mrs Mannering, who generously gave him sixpence in return.

'Who's a naughty boy!' called out Kiki, imitating Bill's manly voice.

''Ave a care, guv',' protested the indignant telegram boy, thinking a grown man was telling him off. 'I ain't done nuffin' wrong. I ran 'ere just as fast as I could!'

Everyone was laughing as Mother closed the door, but Philip noticed signs of anxiety in her face. Telegrams often meant bad news. Had nanny Dora taken a turn for the worse? Four anxious faces watched in silence as Mother read the telegram.

FLIGHT DELAYED DUE TO BAD WEATHER.
SORRY CANNOT VISIT TOMORROW.
WILL TELEPHONE WHEN ABLE.
BILL.

Lucy-Ann was the first to speak.

'Oh, poor Bill! I do hope he gets home in time for Christmas!'

'Oh bother, bother, and bother again!' exclaimed Dinah, looking cross and disappointed. 'Really, can things get any worse!'

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